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Would you like to meet a person of great quality? Do you dream of finding someone who is simply…incredible? Would you like to be with someone you admire, respect, and feel a great deal of chemistry with? If you don’t think it can happen for you, you are among the many who believe:
* “All the good ones are gone.”
* If I did meet someone spectacular, they wouldn’t want me.
* I could never get (and I don’t really deserve) someone sensational.
If you identified with any of the above statements, you belong to a large percentage of the population. My email Inbox is stuffed with letters from people all over the world who feel this way. The truth is, however, if you set out on a personal journey to deepen your awareness, grow yourself, and lighten your heart, many of the limiting beliefs that keep you from your ideal mate would vanish. Anything becomes possible when you consider doing the following:
1. Getting unplugged
We have become so wired, so dependent on electronic gadgets, and so used to distractions we don’t know what it’s like to have a conversation or a thought anymore without fighting the noise … or the temptations… in the background. Try unhooking from your machines for a few hours and finding a quiet space within. What do you hear or think about now? Are you obsessing, complaining, or blaming? Getting unplugged from bad habits, negativity, and limiting thoughts is just as important as turning off the TV. Shifting your focus to building your personal energy supplies is a tonic to the spirit. Flip the switch on gadgetry…to OFF, MUTE the inner voices that encourage you to self-sabotage, and turn toward the QUIET.
2. Letting go
The biggest challenge to self-growth is escaping the debilitating consciousness of being a victim. When you are in victim mode, you stagger from carrying the weight of anger, resentment, jealousy, revenge, hopelessness, or desperation. Those destructive emotions come from feeling that you have no choices and limited freedom. And as long as you feel like someone else is to blame for making you feel miserable you are not ready for a relationship. The attitude of being “put upon” is a function of looking outside of yourself for the cause of your problems rather than looking within for what life has to teach you. What can you do about it?
Approach any stressful situation with these questions:
* When have I been in a similar situation before?
* What do I wish I had done then to handle it?
* What do I need to develop within myself so I don’t repeat this experience?
No one wants to go through hard times…but every hard time is an eye opener.
3. Fads, fame, and celebrity addiction
When we let trendy-ness— or the “coolness factor”—dictate our choices, thoughts, and behavior, we’re not the ones in charge of our lives. Following the standards set by media icons disfigures our own style, taste, and authentic self. We are choosing the lowest common denominator to define who we are. There is a tyranny in allowing well marketed, branded figures to rule what we think of ourselves and how we regard others. The expectation we place on ourselves to fit in, to acquire goods, and to imitate people (who are most likely imitating other people) is injurious to the spirit. When we consider the reality of life, which is: there will be ups and downs, struggles, and huge learning curves, we have surrendered to being human. This type of surrender has no arrogance… and brings stability to the mind and emotions. You automatically attract people, places, and experiences that feed your soul. Then, there is no room—or desire—to fill your house with paper dolls.
4. Constantly learning
Continuously choose a learning path that is perfect for you. When you are constantly embracing new information and awareness, and deepening your spirituality, you are someone who never gets old or stale. You just get wiser. You become a valuable asset to any situation, with much to share and even more ability to appreciate those around you. Constant learning keeps you interesting and interested. You also come to understand how little you know. This is the mark of a seeker…and frames you as the kind of enlightened person that everyone wants to be with.
How do you find a great date…who could become a great mate? Bring yourself out of the shadows and into the light by doing some of the above. Be diligent about your self-care and then notice the difference people will find in you. This is when you become the excellent mate someone excellent is longing to find.